installing | ♨ 1 Apple Pie + Fifteen Apples and Cinnamon

[It has been a week. It has been a week since Winry became single. Since she went home from a date with a ripped dress, soaked and cold. She hasn't really said too much about it. The blond honestly wanted to talk about it, but hadn't felt... she hadn't felt ready. But now... now she's willing to talk. Maybe to a select few people, but she's ready. Maybe that will make her feel better. She's kind of annoyed and disheartened she hasn't seen Haruhi that much during the week, but she'll let that girl have space if that's what she really wants. Instead she goes about her days pretending everything is okay and normal. Places she can be found is the Smithy, her house, and on some days the lake. Any path between the three is included. And on the twenty second, the full one week marker, she sends a message out to the village.]

Hey, everyone. Are there any drinks at Good Spirits you would recommend?

[Filtered from Haruhi: 96%]
And have you ever made a decision that hurt someone, but you felt it was the best choice for the future?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well. Laying aside the most obvious biological difficulty, I would have to say that most 19-year-olds aren't that interested in raising kids. Seems like a bad idea, in fact. And where would you do that? In Luceti? You would want to have a family here?

Biological difficulty? My parents were married around this age, and had me in their early twenties. It's normal to think about having kids at my age. And Luceti or not I want to be with someone who shares the same ideas for the future with me. Maybe it's weird where you're from, and that's why she doesn't want those things, but it's normal where I come from.

Biological difficulty in that you're both girls.

['C'mon.']

Look, the question is whether or not you want actual kids, here, right? And that just doesn't seem like a very good idea when anyone can disappear at any time. So they're entirely hypothetical, and, just my opinion, it doesn't make much sense to break up with someone over a hypothetical lack of hypothetical future children.

['God, what a mess this would be at home. Work for Koizumi, work for me. For some reason, thinking about that is getting me just as annoyed about what's going on here.']

[...Oh. That. They could always... THERE ARE WAYS, OKAY.]

It's not just that. I want marriage, commitment, and she doesn't want to be tied down.

[Luceti adoption agencies...]

...And yet you're the one who broke up with her, and she's the one sulking all over the place and burying herself in work.

Kyon, what do you want from me? I love Haruhi, I really do, but...

We just weren't working out. Everyone goes home eventually, but that eventually for me might be in years.

Even years isn't exactly enough to raise a kid properly, is it? And when you do get home, you won't have aged any. I don't pretend to have understood your relationship, but I understand this even less. And having this kind of relationship with Haruhi is a responsibility, isn't it? Something that should really not be taken lightly, because of everything she is.

[He has no idea why he's getting upset about it himself. But at the bottom of it -- as much as he won't admit it -- is his own vision at home of how he and Haruhi might one day have gone to college together, with her long hair again and that affectionate greeting, and then who knows what? Haruhi isn't someone you can just break up with, for him.]

Just vague things like "it wasn't working out" doesn't seem to really cover it to me. Seems to me like there should be another reason.

['Another person, maybe. Which would be even worse.']

We lost our spark, Kyon. It just isn't the same anymore. She can try to pin it on Ed all she likes, but even the week I didn't know him it was the same. Our relationship was falling apart, and-

And I guess it was shaky to begin with, but that doesn't mean it meant nothing to me. I just don't think we work as a couple anymore.

Okay. Okay, I can't argue with that. How would I know? Whoever "Ed" is. It's your thing, but you better be right about it.

I wouldn't dump her just to be with someone else. If that was the case it would have happened a long time ago.

And... And I know some of my reasons seem silly to you, but they're important to me. And I know she loves me, and this must be really, really hard on her. But I told her that I would do anything to try and make it easier. If it's space she wants I'll give her space, but if she needs me to be free I can make that happen too. I still care about her, Kyon, and I don't want her to be out of my life. I just want her to be a different part of it.

Great. Well, they do seem silly to me, too silly to risk all that, I really just don't understand how this could only start being a problem now. But I guess it is what it is. And if I really want it to make sense for me, I can put my own interpretation on it and make it all work out.

['That interpretation being that it must have been all a mistake from the start.']

So. Space and plaintive questions in the journal it is, I guess.

Shut up.

[Even though she says that it has no real bite to it. She also tries to muster up the will to say something else, but she can't. Winry feels terrible about this. But the decision to break up with Haruhi is one she'll still stand behind.]

Yeah. Well, there's obviously nothing I could say about it, yeah.

[Sigh.]

Rockbell, I don't dislike you. I think I was even getting used to you two. But whatever. I never claimed to understand girls.

...I hope you don't feel too awful about it.

['Not that you sound too awful.']